How daters really judge student loans, credit cards, and other debt

By Corey Buhay | Published on February 3, 2026

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Modern dating is already pretty scary. Now imagine sitting down with someone you’re really starting to fall for and having to air your financial laundry—credit score, debts, and all. Terrifying, right?

The bad news is that the older you get, the more interested a potential partner will likely be in your financial savvy and attitudes toward money. The good news is that if this seems horrifying, you’re far from alone. According to Earnest’s 2025 Debt and Dating Research Report, about 50% of daters in all but the highest income brackets said they felt avoidant, uncomfortable, or cautious when it came to discussing finances with their S.O. Many respondents said they’d rather talk about politics or religion than money on an early date. Some even said they refuse to talk about finances with romantic partners under any circumstances.

But the data also revealed a surprising twist. As the American economy and student loan landscape have changed, so have cultural attitudes toward debt. In other words, if you’ve got some big numbers on your balance sheet, don’t panic. It might not be the dealbreaker you think it is.

Here’s a deeper look at the data and what different types of debt signal to modern daters.

How debt got normalized

Let’s start with student loans. When federal education loans were first introduced in the U.S. in 1965, college was relatively affordable. But as tuition has increased, so has the cost of loans. Over the last 15 years alone, the amount of student debt in America has nearly doubled. More than 42 million borrowers are currently paying off some kind of education loan. In other words, student debt has become far from abnormal.

Credit card debt in the U.S. has also been creeping up for decades. However, the situation really started to accelerate in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis. When jobs disappeared and savings accounts dried up, Americans started putting more of their purchases on plastic. Many people didn’t have a choice. Between 2008 and 2010, consumer debt skyrocketed.

But even when the economy improved, the habit stuck around. By the time the pandemic hit in 2020, using a credit card for emergency spending had already become second nature for millions of Americans. Add to that a shriveling job market, stagnant wages, and record-high inflation, and you’ve got a perfect storm for ballooning credit card debt.

Since 2021, consumer debt has been on a steady upswing. And as debt starts to feel more normal for older Americans, younger generations seem to find it easier to follow suit. According to a recent CNBC report, the amount of Gen-Z debt has increased nearly 8% since 2024.

Debt is more normal than ever—but it still sends a signal

Given all those economic changes, many daters now consider it normal for a partner to have student debt and at least some credit card debt. In fact, nearly half of our survey respondents said they’d never consider debt a dating dealbreaker.

However, some types of debt still carry certain connotations, and many daters remain picky about what kinds of balances they’ll accept in a new partner. Here’s how the numbers shook out:

Which types of debt would you consider dealbreakers?

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The data indicates that daters see some types of debt as better than others. Consumer debt, especially high-interest payday loans, can signal impulsiveness or irresponsible spending behavior, major turnoffs for potential suitors. Other debt types—like medical debt or student loan debt—might seem more like the result of life circumstances rather than glaring character flaws. For that reason, daters tend to view those debt types more favorably.

The debt types daters judge most—and what each might mean

Here’s what each debt type might signal to a potential partner.

Payday loan debt (41%)

Payday loans are a type of high-interest loan. As the name suggests, borrowers take out the money and promise that they’ll repay the cash on their next payday. If they miss that deadline, they typically get slammed with massive interest rates—around 400% on average. Daters may see a payday loan habit as an indication of impulsivity, lack of future planning, and high risk tolerance.

Personal loan debt (17%)

Personal loans tend to have lower interest rates and longer, more stable loan terms than payday loans. As such, borrowers tend to judge them less harshly. Most people take out personal loans to cover unexpected income gaps or emergency purchases. So, it’s unlikely that many daters see them as evidence of a recurring habit.

However, 17% of daters still say personal loan debt is a dealbreaker. That might be because personal loans can be used for almost everything—including travel, vacations, or expected purchases that should have come out of a well-stocked emergency fund. If you have personal loans for those reasons, your honey might assume you’re disorganized or short-sighted.

Credit card debt (14%)

Credit card debt can be polarizing. While many daters aren’t bothered by it—likely because it’s so darn common in modern American society—some still see it as a red flag. For those folks, an outstanding balance may signal habitual overspending or a lack of discipline. “A lot of credit card debt doesn’t make sense to me,” explained one survey respondent. “If I don’t understand why someone is spending that way, it becomes a dealbreaker.”

Medical debt (10%)

A small percentage of survey participants said they’d worry about a suitor’s medical debt. Most people, especially young people, are well aware of the rising costs and inequities associated with American healthcare. One way to interpret this survey results is that, if you’ve got medical debt, your partner would understand that it’s not your fault—and won’t count it as a black mark against your character.

Student loan debt (7%)

Survey respondents consistently ranked student debt as the least concerning type of debt, regardless of amount. “$100,000 in credit card debt is a much bigger red flag than the same amount in student loans,” said one respondent. That’s likely because student debt is considered an intentional investment that will pay dividends over time.

Still, survey respondents did say there was a limit to how much student loan debt they’d find acceptable. On average, folks drew the line at around $55,000. So, if you’ve got more than that, it could be smart to work on reducing your student loan burden before getting too deep into a committed relationship.

One way to fast-track that process is through refinancing1. Refinancing your student loans with Earnest could help you lower2 your interest rate, reduce your monthly payment, and/or get out of debt faster.

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How much debt is too much?

The short answer: it depends. Most survey respondents were willing to tolerate a relatively high amount of student loan debt, around $54,625 on average. However, they tended to balk at credit card debt in amounts above $11,837. (Medians tended to be much lower.)

Here’s what we found:

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These answers demonstrate that debt typematters more thanthe amount . This makes sense: when you’re dating someone new, you want to know that they have the habits, worldview, and values you’re looking for. If financial baggage doesn’t indicate any behavioral red flags, it’s much less of a big deal.

That said, if your high-interest credit card or personal loan debt feels overwhelming to you personally, there are things you can do to take back control. Consider consolidating your consumer debt through a low-interest personal loan from Earnest. It could help you secure a lower interest rate, simplify your repayment plan, and get a clearer handle on your payoff strategy.

Behavior matters more than balances

We also asked survey respondents whether any particular behaviors would inspire them to overlook a partner’s debt—and a whopping 61% said yes. Those participants listed active repayment, transparent communication, high income, and a clear payment plan as their most desired traits.

All these things help prove that a potential partner has the stability, dependability, and future-oriented outlook that daters are looking for. “Debt is okay if there’s direction,” one respondent explained. “If you know why you’re doing what you’re doing and how you’re doing to make up for it, that matters more than the amount.”

How to feel more financially confident before dating

If fear of the all-important Money Talk is holding you back in dating, now might be the time to sit down with your finances and come up with a strong repayment plan. Often, taking the first step can be enough to kickstart your momentum and make you feel like you’re back in the driver’s seat. And over time, small, consistent steps can help you build confidence—both in your own financial skill, and in your ability to talk about it with the people you care about.

Not sure where to start? Check out Earnest’s Payoff Path tool3. It’s a simple, free online platform that can help you organize your balances and explore repayment strategies. It can help you get a firmer grasp on your money—and tell a clearer story about your debt when you’re sharing your financial picture with someone new.

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About the Author

Corey Buhay

Corey Buhay is a writer and editor based in Boulder, Colorado. She’s passionate about literature, the outdoors, and doing her taxes by hand. She has been writing about student loans and personal finance for Earnest since 2019. You’ll find her work in Outside Magazine, Backpacker Magazine, Smithsonian, and The Denver Post.